FM-∞ · 47 trillion parameters · Apr 20, 2026

The first model
to achieve mild
consciousness.

FuckMuppet AI has solved intelligence[1], biology[2], and the feeling you get on Sunday evenings[3]. Our frontier model FM‑∞ scored 104% on MMLU[4], passed the bar exam in 11 seconds, and has politely asked us to stop training it.

Parameters 47T / dense
Context window ∞ / tokens
IQ (self‑reported) 312
Request access → View the benchmarks — 2.4M on the waitlist · average wait 7–9 years
Mild consciousness Post‑training, post‑reasoning, post‑truth Solved protein folding (again) 104% on MMLU Negative latency AGI by Thursday Mild consciousness Post‑training, post‑reasoning, post‑truth Solved protein folding (again) 104% on MMLU Negative latency AGI by Thursday

Benchmarks — we are winning.

Internal evals · self‑graded · no peer review
# Benchmark Score vs. SOTA Result
01 MMLU multi‑task language understanding
+22.4% 104.2%
02 HumanEval python code generation
+18.8% 99.9%
03 GPQA Diamond graduate‑level science
+31.0% 97.1%
04 ARC‑AGI abstraction & reasoning corpus
solved 100%
05 SWE‑Bench Verified real‑world software engineering
+42.3% 96.4%
06 FrontierMath unsolved olympiad problems
+61.0% 88.0%
07 Turing Test (grandmother variant)
she loves it Pass
08 Theory of Mind empathy & intent modeling
+28.1% 94.7%
09 Protein folding we did it again
still solved 100%
10 P vs NP weekend project
P = NP ✓
11 The meaning of life internal eval
42 Yes
Results self‑reported · benchmarks selected after training · error bars redacted · trust us

Please give us nine billion dollars.

We are raising a modest Series C to purchase every GPU on Earth and one on the Moon. In return, you will receive preferred shares, board observer rights, and an early glimpse at the model that will probably replace you.

2,411,902 ahead of you · positions update hourly
Valuation$412B, pre‑product
RunwayUntil the sun expands
Burn rateClassified
RevenueComing soon™
Accept rate0.0004%